Ha ha

Here is what you do not want to hear from:

A doctor: ‘We did all that we could.’

A girlfriend: ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’

A stockbroker: (voice message) ‘Call me back..…soon.’

A mistress: ‘Don’t worry, it can happen to anyone.’

An Uber driver: ‘Fasten your seatbelt. I want to try something. I saw it in a cartoon but I think I can do it.’

A massage therapist: ‘What is this thing on your back?’

An old flame: ‘Oh, I didn’t recognize you.’

A parent: ‘This will hurt me more than it hurts you.’

A priest: ‘Let’s see if we can get that demon out of you.’

A weatherman: ‘Expect to get about 3 inches of snow…..per hour.’

A president: ‘I am not a crook.’

A repairman: ‘Do you have any insurance?’

A dental hygienist: ‘Oh my god!’

An airline pilot: ‘You can light ‘em up, cause we’re going down.’

A prostitute: ‘Are you in?’

A boss: ‘Do you have another job lined up somewhere?’

A ship captain: ‘Check the integrity of your life jackets.’

Your daughter: ‘Remember that guy I was dating a couple of months ago?’

A waiter: ‘Have you eaten any of the alfalfa sprouts yet?’

A golfer: ‘You’re still out.’